Brendan: A Serious Case of Otaku?
by Sunday's Gone
Summary: May is eager to tell Brendan of her most impressive accomplishment since beating the Hoenn elite four. However, when she pays him a visit, what she finds holed up in that bedroom is far from what she originally expected.
1. A Serious Case of Otaku

**Note:** So, to those of you who saw this story and decided to click on it for whatever reason and thought, "Whaaaat? Brendan is always outdoors and whatnot, so how in the world would this even make sense?" -Well, the thing is, I came up with this whole idea after I'd been playing pokemon emerald version, and after I'd beaten the elite four, I noticed that whenvever I dropped by Brendan's house and talked to him, he was always sitting at that computer saying we'd battle sometime, but then never even left his darn computer chair.  
It kind of made me think/wonder, so I eventually decided to make a humorous fanfiction out of it.

I also originally intended for this to be a oneshot fanfiction, but then after I finished typing it, I realized that I would need perhaps another chapter or two to finish it up properly. (I'd say this fanfiction will have up to three chapters at the most...)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Pokemon kthxbai.

* * *

"Brendan!" yelled May as she sprinted up the stairs to her neighbor's bedroom, almost tripping on the way up. She was excited, and absolutely nothing would stop her from reaching that room- not her breathlessness, not the aching in her legs, not the overtly loud beating of her own heart. It didn't matter to her whether the whole world heard it or not. It wasn't every day that she won a master rank contest, after all. She had worked as hard as she could to win this honorable rank, making pokéblocks so smooth and sweet, that she'd spent only quarters of a mere second at the berry blender, putting in only the best of berries (which had taken her weeks to grow just right). She had also spent much time thinking up the perfect combos that would dazzle and awe the judges. All in all, she had put in every last bit of her efforts to win this latest master rank contest. She would be on T.V, in the news...and even better, there would be an elegant portrait of _her _pokémon hanging at the Lilycove Art Museum, painted by a skillful artist who'd crossed seas just so he could view the Hoenn master rank contests and capture the beauty of the winner on canvas.

It was all too glorious to be kept a secret from Brendan, who was always bragging to her about how many pokémon he'd caught, how many he was going to catch, and how many he'd seen.

"Let's see you beat this record, Brendan..." she said softly, grinning to herself as she reached the last stair. This had to be one of the best days of her entire life. She couldn't wait to see his face when she finally told him about her latest and grandest achievement.

She took a deep breath, and reached her hand out to knock on his door, but stopped abruptly when she remembered what had happened the last time she'd entered this room.

She'd stepped in, a a smile on her face, like usual, (May was generally a cheerful girl), and she was about to greet him, when she noticed something. While it had struck her as being strange to begin with that Brendan was at home and not out in the fields like his father normally was, she wasn't quite expecting a scene such as this.

Brendan was sitting alone in his dimly-lit room, his eyes glued to his computer screen which gave off an almost eerie pale blue glow. She could see the refection of the bright computer screen in his hollow, reddened eyes, and she could hear the constant sound of the click of the computer mouse, like it was the ticking of a clock or a metronome. He hadn't even turned his head when she had entered his room, focusing instead only on the bright computer monitor as if he'd been chained to it as if he were its pathetic, zombified prisoner.

_Just what in the world was he doing?_

The smile she'd worn was now gone, and had been replaced by a look of utter confusion. She could already see a few things wrong with this picture, and it made her worry more than ever now.

She could see slivers of a pale blue glow emanating from the space between the closed door and the wall, and she could hear the clicking of the mouse keeping in tune with her own heartbeat.

_What if he doesn't even care that I won a master rank contest? _She thought, worriedly.

_Nonsense...This time...I'm sure I'll be able to get him off that computer. He'll be shocked. That's right...as soon as he hears about it, he'll run outside and start catching as many pokémon as he possibly can, just like before..._

And with that last thought leaving her on a more positive note, she finally found the courage to place her hand on the doorknob and rotate it so it opened the door with a creak.

"...."

Complete and utter silence. She sighed, and took a deep breath, taking a few more steps farther into the poorly lit room save for the glowing computer screen. The strange thing was, though, was that she felt like she _needed _to be quiet; like she would be interrupting something if she took too loud a breath or stepped too heavily on an uncarpeted area of the floor.

_This is ridiculous. I have to say something, otherwise he'll never even notice I'm here. And is it just me, or does Brendan look...unhealthier? Ew, look at those bags under his eyes...And it kinda looks like he's gained a bit of weight...._

May cleared her throat, tried not to gag (at Brendan's unhealthy looks) and stepped directly behind the computer chair, resting her hands on the top.

"Hey there, Brendan...Uh..." Why did this have to feel so awkward??

"... _*click click* _"

"Uhhhm..." she started, uneasily, about to repeat herself.

All of a sudden, Brendan spun around in his computer chair to face her, sending a startled May about three feet up in the air.

"Oh...it's you, May. When did you get here all of a sudden?"

_ALL OF A SUDDEN? Is he deaf or something?! I was loud coming up the stairs, and even when I said something to him, he didn't respond. And...Ew, his eyes are totally bloodshot...and his breath smells horrible, and he's covered in potato chip crumbs...What a slob!_

"H-hey, Brendan...I got here a few minutes ago, actually," She walked over to flip on the light switch.

_It's like he's living in a cave, now...Only with the internet. Yuck! How gloomy...He doesn't even keep the blinds open in the daytime to let in sunlight..._

"OW OW OW, OWWW! MY EYES! OUCH! MAY, TURN THOSE BACK OFF, THEY'RE HURTING MY EYES," whined Brendan, apparently not used to such light.

"But you're hurting your eyes anyway in the dark in front of a bright computer screen like that!" remarked May, fumbling around in her bag for the darkglasses item. She finally found them, and gave them to Brendan to wear, so she wouldn't have to hear him whine and see those creepy bloodshot eyes again.

"Ah...Much better! Thanks, May," said Brendan, adjusting the glasses so they'd sit more comfortably on his face.

"Y-you're welcome..." and now she was fidgeting impatiently to tell him about her contest.

"So, what'd you come here for? To show me the pathetic number of pokémon you've caught? To let me borrow a computer game?" He grinned, revealing his yellow, unbrushed teeth that still reeked of morning breath. Once again, May had to keep herself from gagging.

"Uh, well, _actually_..." she chuckled a bit, pushing back her hair. "Actually, I came to tell you that...I WON A MASTER RANK POKÉMON CONTEST!" and with that, she shoved the ribbon she'd won right in his face, so there'd be no way he'd be able to not notice it. "Me and my Marill, Cinnamon (?), won this at a cute contest," she boasted.

"..._*click click* "_

"...er..."

_Please tell me he didn't already stop paying attention. Do I need to throw confetti in this kid's face and yell through a megaphone, or what? Maybe Brendan's secretly got A.D.D..._

"Hm...what, now? 'D you say something?" asked an oblivious Brendan, who was already back to facing his computer screen.

_No. Way. _

May growled under her breath, fighting the urge to slap Brendan and yell at him to listen to her when she's got something to brag about, since she'd always listened to him when he gloated all over the place.

"Whoa...I just heard a growl," said Brendan, still facing the computer, clicking away. "Are there like, wild pigs in my room or something?"

May was now trying with all her might to keep from slapping him. First he ignored her, and now he was calling her a pig- when HE was the one with food crumbs all over his shirt!

"Brendan," she said, turning his computer chair around so he was facing her.

"What is it this time? Can't you see I'm downloading something?" he snapped. "Oh- wait, no...On second thought, don't look at what I'm downloading..._*click click * _"

May was just about to raise her hand to smack him across the face, when something on the computer screen caught her eye.

"...Brendan...What are you downloading??" she asked slowly (or should I say 'cautiously'?), peering over his shoulder at the screen, partially blocked by the greasy bird's nest that was now his hair.

"N-nothing, now leave me alone!" he said, trying to block the computer screen with his head, while pushing her away with the back of his hand, and clicking furiously with the other.

"Ewwww~! Is that a racy picture of Wallace I see?"

"Sh-shut up, May! What are you doing in my room anyway, huh?! Can't you see I'm busy?! Get out!" And with that, he stood up and started pushing her towards the door.

"Brenda~an! I didn't know you were_ *cough*_like that_*cough cough*_ " remarked May, trying to sound polite as the otaku booted her out the door.

"SHUT. UP. THAT WASN'T EVEN WALLACE, SO DON'T EVEN BEGIN TO ASSUME THAT I'M-"

"But who else has crazy blue hair like that, huh?" interrupted May, now standing outside Brendan's closed (and locked) door.

"IT WAS MARINA, OKAY?! SHE'S AN IDOL. I'M NOT GAY, OKAY? SO JUST BE QUIET AND STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS LIKE THAT," yelled Brendan rather defensively from the other side of the door.

"Well then, why didn't you just say so in the first place?" asked May, trying to sound calm and innocent. She could hear Brendan sighing of exasperation inside his room.

"Why haven't you left yet?? I'm busy- seriously. I've got 100 e-mails to get through, 20 messages on my facebook page to reply to, 30 comments on my youtube account, and people to follow on twitter. So, yeah, I'm really busy,"

"Alright, Alright- I'll leave you to your business, then," said May, making her way down the staircase.

"Bye, May!" said Brendan's mom, waving to her as she left.

"Bye!"

-Later on, at May's house-

"OH MY GOD! I LEFT MY CONTEST RIBBON AT BRENDAN'S HOUSE!" cried May, shaking her head and feeling like an idiot for leaving it over there.

"Something wrong, May?" asked her mother.

"Uuuuuughh..."she groaned, shaking her head.


	2. A Talk with the Professor

Chapter Two:

A Talk with the Professor

It was a beautiful day down in Littleroot. An absolutely glorious day. The trees surrounding the small town were bursting with color as they had reached full bloom, the sun was shining brightly in a vast blue sea of sky being sailed upon by grand cumulus luxury liners, and the grass sparkled with diamond-like dewdrops. A sweet aroma wafted through the clean air, and beedrills and beautiflies flitted and buzzed their way about the place.

It was, in fact, it was so delightful a scene, that one might not be surprised if a rapidash (-pokémon version of a unicorn?) pranced through, and a rainbow appeared in the sky.

....Well.

Only kidding, of course.

But despite all of the beauty on this day, May was cringing as she woke up, peering out the window in her bedroom. Why? Simply because she _knew _that Brendan would be sitting _inside_ in front of a glowing blue accursed computer screen. _In the dark. __With __the windows closed, __and__ the curtains fully covering the windows. Whilst looking at racy pictures of Wallace. _She didn't even have to walk over to his house to confirm it. She knew for a fact already. It was a fact both sad and true. As she jumped out of bed, she'd made a firm resolution to put an end to Brendan's computer time.

After thinking for a bit after a breakfast of scrambled eggs and oran berry juice, May finally decided that the best thing to do now would be to talk with the professor about it.

...Birch. The man who feared level two poochyenas and zigzagoons.

Her dad's (Norman's) best bud.

The guy who was like, never at his own house.

The father of Brendan.

Surely he would do something about his son, sitting in his room and refusing to come out like a stubborn old tortoise that hides away in its shell, instead of getting his butt out there in the field to catch pokemon for his dad.

_Yeah, I'll just talk to him about it. _Thought May to herself.

"Bye, Mom! I'm going to go talk to the professor," called May as she was already half way out the door.

"GET BACK HERE, MAY, YOUR DAD IS ON T.V AGAIN!" shouted May's mother frantically.

"Mom...Do I _have_ to? I mean, I could just walk to Petalsburg and see Dad in person if I really wanted to," said May, anxious to get out the door.

"HURRY UP, YOU DON'T GET TO SEE YOUR FATHER ON T.V EVERYDAY, WHICH MAKES THIS A SPECIAL OCCASION. SO HURRY OVER HERE!"

May rolled her eyes and walked over to the t.v, recalling that just yesterday they'd seen an interview of him. The day before that, too. And the day before that...

"Oh, never mind, you missed it, slowpoke. Geez, May. Have a little more respect for your dad's interviews,"

_I knew it. Of course it ends as soon as I get over here. _Thought May, who was now back halfway out the door already. "BYEMOMI'MLEAVINGFORABITSEEYALATERBYE!"

"I'D BETTER NOT HEAR YOU WERE WITH THAT STEVEN BOY AGAIN. HE'S TOO OLD FOR YOU, MAY!" yelled her mother out the door right before May slammed it shut.

_What is she going on about now?? Can't she just let me leave the house without yelling stuff at me when I'm practically out the door already? Ugh._

...Now to find the professor.

Trying his house would be stupid, since he's almost never there anyway. The professor didn't like to stay in his lab too long each day, but since it was fairly early (at least for her...she had no clue as to when the professor normally woke up.) she guessed he could still possibly be lingering in his lab. So she would try the lab first.

But then another thing popped into her head- how was she going to go about telling him about Brendan's computer addiction? She could see herself, standing in the lab, greeting the professor, and then looking him in the eye and telling him about Brendan, getting straight to the heart of the matter. She practiced what she would say to him when it got to that point.

"-deep breath- Professor, I firmly believe your son is gay. His pastimes involve going on the computer, and looking at racy pictures of Wallace...No, I shouldn't say that...Instead, I'll say, 'Professor, I think Brendan...needs...uh, help...' No...'Hey, since when did Brendan become allergic to sunlight?' hm..."

She opened the door to the lab, and was greeted by Ernest, the professor's assistant worker.

"Hey, uhm, is the professor here?" asked May politely. "I have something to talk to him about that's of relative importance, you see, so...uhm"

"Nope! The professor left about an hour ago to go do some early morning fieldwork on route 102," said Ernest, pointing his thumb back in the direction of route 102. He kept his eyes on the book he was reading, 'A Complete Guide to Bird Pokemon'.

"Ah, okay, thanks!" said May, smiling, thinking it was weird that here, this man knew more about where the professor's whereabouts than the professor's own wife probably did.

_He must really never be at home during the day._

"No problem," remarked Ernest. "He might be busy, though," He turned a page.

_Or he might be getting attacked by a weakling pokemon. _Thought May as she grinned, nodded, then headed for route 102.

Later, at Route 102

"OH SH- I FORGOT TO BRING POKEMON WITH ME INTO THE TALL GRASS AGAIN!" exclaimed the professor in great dismay, who was being chased by a wurmple on level two, which he (technically) could have easily stepped on, if he'd really wanted to.

May tried to hide her "that is _so _lame" look on her face that had begun to form.

"OH THANK ARCEUS YOU'RE HERE, MAY. GRAB A POKEMON FROM MY BAG AND KILL THIS WURMPLE FOR ME, PLZU?"

And with that, May rolled her eyes, and, ignoring the fact that the professor had just said something as silly as "plzu", walked over to the bag, and took out a pokeball. "Go, pokemon!" she shouted, throwing the pokeball to release the pokemon inside of it, which turned out to be cyndaquil, one of the three pokemon she wasn't supposed to receive until after she finished her pokedex, which she hadn't.

Later on, in the Lab

Wow, May! You pulled that battle off with aplomb! You must have your father's blood in your veins after all!"

"...Cut the crap,"

"Alright, alright. Now what did you want to talk to me about?" asked the professor, sipping a bit of his coffee which he'd had at his desk in the lab. (Surely it was cold by now, though??)

"Wait...First, may I have this cyndaquil?" she asked, trying to give him puppy dog eyes, which may or may not have worked.

"Yeah, sure, whatever, keep it. I hate cyndaquil,"

"Awesome, thank you! ...Why do you hate it?" asked May, as she selected the name 'Bacon' for her new cyndaquil.

"lolololol what the hell, May?! _Bacon??_ Anyway, I hate them because they have orange on them and," the professor took a sip of his cold coffee, and then sneezed, dropping his coffee cup and spilling coffee all over the floor of the lab. "Oh, shoot!" he said, looking down at the mess he made, scratching his head. "Uh, anyway, I can't tell you how much I dislike the color orange...I'll have to clean this up later, because I don't have any paper towels or anything like that in here at the moment,"

_Later?! Gross!_

"...Bless you? ...I NAME MY POKEMON AFTER THE STUFF I'M CRAVING AT THE MOMENT, OKAY?! WHAT'S SO WEIRD ABOUT THAT? Uh, lots of pokemon have orange on them, and some more so than cyndaquil,"

"Thanks. Cravings? What, are you pregnant or something? Is it Steven's? I knew that boy was too old for you!" The professor waved his hand. "Yeahwell. This one is different," he crossed his arms stubbornly.

"NO!!!!!1111!!!!111!!!!!111!!! Geesh! What is it with everyone thinking that stuff about me and Steven?!" May was fuming.

"LET'S GET TO THE POINT OF THIS CHAPTER ALREADY," cut in Micky, the author, who was not even supposed to be in this story.

"MAY I DESTROY YOUR SON'S COMPUTER?"

"Why??"

"BECAUSE HE'S..." May took a few deep breaths, and started to calm down and regain her composure. "....He's been up in his room this whole week on his computer,"

"Oh, now I see...." said Birch slowly. "I'll talk to him today, then,"

May sighed of relief. "Oh, good! Thank you so much!"

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do..." said the professor. "After all, we can't have him sitting up in his room all day. He's got a pokedex to fill out!"

_Is that the only reason you want him off the computer? That's pretty sad, you know....Oh well, though, Today's the day we put an end to this!!_

-_to be continued in chapter three_-


End file.
